Keely at The Un-Mom started Random Tuesday Thoughts and we thought we would join in the fun. Stop by her blog and check out her randomness.
Have you noticed that most doctor’s offices have snippy receptionist’s? They always act annoyed that you are coming to their closed window, and that it’s such a bother to have to slide the window to the side to help you. And god forbid if the doctor told you to “stop in”, because the receptionist’s head will spin around!
The room mother for your child’s classroom will most likely be the bitchiest woman you will ever meet. Now I’ve had room mother’s that are wonderful! But there are some that are evil, wretched women!
When you look like crap, no make-up, hair not done, wearing sweats or other non-fashionable clothing you will run into EVERYONE! You will especially run into your arch enemy! Take it from me, this has happened, and it’s hard to duck and run when you have kids with you asking, “mom why are you hiding from that lady?” Which then draws more attention to yourself, it’s not pretty.
Also, if your child misses the bus and you drive them in your pajamas, most likely you will have to get out of the car. Even when you shouldn’t have to, because you are wearing your pj’s, you will have to.
No good conversation starts with, “I was thinking”, “We need to talk”, “I am mad/unhappy with”, “You need to”, “You are a” Avoid these conversations at all costs!
If your child says he/she needs to burp, he/she may need to actually throw up. Run…run away! You have been warned.
Speaking of puke, have you ever tried to catch your child’s puke ? I did that once at Shaw’s (grocery store), which begs the question, why the hell would I do that when I wasn’t even at home? I didn’t have to clean their floor! And then I’m standing there with puke in my hands thinking why the hell did I just do that??? And what did I do with the puke in my hands? Shook it on the floor. Ewww!
If you are ever dumb enough to let your older sister highlight your hair, and then she can’t stop laughing when she looks at you, and says, “it doesn’t look that bad“, don’t believe her. Thanks Elle for that memory.
I’ve noticed that when our dog, Shadow, throws-up, it’s almost always when I’m making dinner. No, it’s not that my cooking is that bad. I think it’s because he gets so excited that he might actually get some crumb that I drop he works himself up into a frenzy and then throws-up. The rest of our animals do that gagging thing and their stomachs heave and it gives me time to throw them out the door. But not Shadow, he just goes in a corner and starts making these horrible noises, kinda like a frat guy puking up a keg of beer, a couple of meat lovers pizzas and candy corn. He’s so noisy that I’m expecting him to throw up his colon. It’s always a great accompaniment to dinnertime.
Even though we have 2 dogs and I have absolutely no intention of getting another one, even if my husband all of sudden became crazy and said we could, I still go to our local shelter’s website almost every day to look at the dogs for adoption. I don’t know why, maybe I’m just looking to see if there’s some better dog out there, like Lassie. Some dog that doesn’t eat poop or try to steal our food off the counters, or jump on the stove and pee on it when company comes. Can you blame me?
I really hate when people say to me “You look pale” or “You look tired”. Okay, I’m only 1 shade darker than Casper so get over it, I’m pale. Even in the middle of summer, I’m pale. I can’t help it, I don’t even tan. And the tired thng.. I’m a mom and I work and ….you get the idea. Moms are usually tired, it kinda goes with the territory. So thank you Captain Obvious for pointing out those facts to me. I had no freakin’ idea I was pale and I look tired.