Random Tuesday Thoughts

 

 Keely at The Un-Mom started Random Tuesday Thoughts and we thought we would join in the fun. Stop by her blog and check out her randomness.

Stacy-

Have you noticed that most doctor’s offices have snippy receptionist’s?  They always act annoyed that you are coming to their closed window, and that it’s such a bother to have to slide the window to the side to help you.  And god forbid if the doctor told you to “stop in”, because the receptionist’s head will spin around!

The room mother for your child’s classroom will most likely be the bitchiest woman you will ever meet.  Now I’ve had room mother’s that are wonderful!  But there are some that are evil, wretched women!

When you look like crap, no make-up, hair not done, wearing sweats or other non-fashionable clothing you will run into EVERYONE!  You will especially run into your arch enemy!  Take it from me, this has happened, and it’s hard to duck and run when you have kids with you asking, “mom why are you hiding from that lady?”  Which then draws more attention to yourself, it’s not pretty.

Also, if your child misses the bus and you drive them in your pajamas, most likely you will have to get out of the car.  Even when you shouldn’t have to, because you are wearing your pj’s, you will have to.

No good conversation starts with, “I was thinking”, “We need to talk”, “I am mad/unhappy with”, “You need to”, “You are a”  Avoid these conversations at all costs!

If your child says he/she needs to burp, he/she may need to actually throw up.  Run…run away!  You have been warned.

Speaking of puke, have you ever tried to catch your child’s puke ?  I did that once at Shaw’s (grocery store), which begs the question, why the hell would I do that when I wasn’t even at home?  I didn’t have to clean their floor!  And then I’m standing there with puke in my hands thinking why the hell did I just do that???  And what did I do with the puke in my hands?  Shook it on the floor.  Ewww!

If you are ever dumb enough to let your older sister highlight your hair, and then she can’t stop laughing when she looks at you, and says, “it doesn’t look that bad“, don’t believe her.  Thanks Elle for that memory.

Elle

I’ve noticed that when our dog, Shadow, throws-up, it’s almost always when I’m making dinner. No, it’s not that my cooking is that bad. I think it’s because he gets so excited that he might actually get some crumb that I drop he works himself up into a frenzy and then throws-up. The rest of our animals do that gagging thing and their stomachs heave and it gives me time to throw them out the door. But not Shadow, he just goes in a corner and starts making these horrible noises, kinda like a frat guy puking up a keg of beer, a couple of meat lovers pizzas and candy corn. He’s so noisy that I’m expecting him to throw up his colon. It’s always a great accompaniment to dinnertime.

Even though we have 2 dogs and I have absolutely no intention of getting another one, even if my husband all of sudden became crazy and said we could, I still go to our local shelter’s website almost every day to look at the dogs for adoption. I don’t know why, maybe I’m just looking to see if there’s some better dog out there, like Lassie. Some dog that doesn’t eat poop or try to steal our food off the counters, or jump on the stove and pee on it when company comes. Can you blame me?

I really hate when people say to me “You look pale” or “You look tired”. Okay, I’m only 1 shade darker than Casper so get over it, I’m pale. Even in the middle of summer, I’m pale. I can’t help it, I don’t even tan. And the tired thng.. I’m a mom and I work and ….you get the idea. Moms are usually tired, it kinda goes with the territory. So thank you Captain Obvious for pointing out those facts to me. I had no freakin’ idea I was pale and I look tired.

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14 Responses to Random Tuesday Thoughts

  1. Keely says:

    I used to look at the shelter’s website too. Then I got depressed because EVERY dog looked less psychotic than mine. Even the psychotic looking ones.

  2. I have caught lots of things coming out of my kids and I always wish I hadn’t. Always.

  3. Anne says:

    Stacy, I have to agree with Julie, you never catch anything coming out of your kids. You can never catch all of it and it just makes additional cleaning.

    Elle, maybe you are playing shelter Let’s Make a Deal. You want to see if maybe there is a better dog out there and you can make a trade for one of your existing dogs.

  4. Elizabeth says:

    Stand back when kids spew. That’s a law.

    I’m pretty sure it’s a prerequisite for the job of room mom to be a bitch. I never met a room mom I liked, except for me. Hey wait, I take it all back. I was a room mom!!

  5. K says:

    It’s all so true – I run into everyone when I look like crap. And I have tried to caught puke – that when I knew I was truly a mom.

    Great randomness.

  6. Mum says:

    Stacy, You know I most always start my conversations with— I was thinking. It isn’t always bad.

  7. mrsbear says:

    Stacy – You have an arch enemy? That’s quite an accomplishment. And I for some reason always try to catch my kids puke, luckily never in public though, then I tend to point them away from my person.

    Elle – Dog throw up is so much worse than people throw up. Even more debilitating to your appetite is the dog eating the people throw up. ack. Are you okay? You look tired. 🙂

  8. Catching vomit is one thing I haven’t done and hope not to ever do! Yuck!

  9. Stacy says:

    To Mrs Bear-Yes I have an arch enemy. I used to work with her, and that was my name for her when I would talk to Elle about her. I still to this day cannot stand her, and the feeling is mutual!

    To Mum-sometimes the “I was thinking” can be a little…um, different. It’s usual a “different” kind of thing you were thinking about. You know when you are up at night worrying about Elle and I. 🙂 No offense Mum.

  10. Stacy: Oh yeah, I have an arch enemy too…and luckily I haven’t run into her looking like crap – well, I haven’t run into here when I’ve looked fabulous, either, so…knock wood that I’ll continue NOT to run into her! 😉 Catching puke is not something I can lay claim to, since the Princess Nagger hasn’t been a pukey child yet. Although when she was an infant, I was carrying her through Dada’s work to visit, and she spewed all over my shoulder and back…on my leather jacket. Yum. I never trusted my older sister to do anything to my hair…I usually had to use the line ‘it doesn’t look bad’ on HER when she would do something to HER hair…so my hair was definitely off limits to her…(snicker!)

    Elle: Dog puke is definitely gross – especially when they decide to gobble it back up. Blech. I like to browse the adoption pages of the Humane Society – but I have to do it when Princess Nagger isn’t looking over my shoulder, or we’d probably end up getting a slew of pets… 🙂 Sorry to hear you’re looking tired and pale…you feeling all right? (grin!!)

  11. The Little Big Sister says:

    So I puked instead of burped ONE TIME! And apparently I will never hear the end of it =) I was what 8??? Oh well, I still call it Pukens.

  12. Shangrila says:

    My kids always throw up ON ME. It never fails. They reach for me, say, “Ma-maa?” in a wavery voice and then fool that I am, I take them into my arms just in time for the vomiting to begin. It’s happened at the grocery store, restaurants and of course many-a-time at home-sweet-home!

    Also, my dog Katie is constantly tricking me into feeding her some of my yummy food (by looking at me wistfully, yet expectantly with her big blue eyes) and then promptly sicking it up on my kitchen floor. You’d think I’d learn, hey?

    A dog climbed onto the stove and peed on it?! I don’t know what to say except…damn.

    Moms are pale and pajama-clad because we have to drive car-pool instead of sleep and clean up bodily fluids instead of dressing fashionably. Arch nemesises beware! We have mini-vans!

  13. Casey says:

    The receptionist at my kid’s pedi is a total bitch and does the same thing. How dare I bring my sick child to the doctor.

    Yes, I’ve caught the kid’s puke on several occasions. This week.

    I’m guilty at looking at the animal shelter’s website but I had to stop when the numbers kept going up because of the recession. Too sad and too tempting.

  14. HA – most of the receptionists act like they’re doing YOU a favor…. annoying.

    I wonder how many of them realize that if it weren’t for YOU coming to the office THEY wouldn’t have a job??!!??

    I always like to point out that they’re being HassOles… by calling them out… I guess I’m a HassOle myself for doing it. I usually say “did I catch you at a bad time??” {{it’s their FREAKING JOB!!}} and then they look at me like I have four heads… and I say, seems like you’re frustrated with me and I didn’t realize I offended you somehow. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. then they turn into little angels… OR crawl under their desk… whichever. I get the last laugh.

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