It’s Monday again, time for the weird keyword searches from last week. Of course this week it’s different, this week I’m doing this alone, sniff, sniff. Elle’s off on her Disney vacation, and I’m stuck here reading the creepy things people look for online! Okay enough about me, like Elle says to me, “It’s not all about you!” Enjoy the list…..
1. Monkey butt costumes – For the kid that wants to be the only one not dressed as Spider-man, Sponge bob, or a Bratz doll. Although, I don’t think you’ll be winning any costume party awards!
2. Alcohol party like Tupperware party– I don’t know about you, but I’m guessing an Alcohol party would be a little more interesting than a Tupperware party.
3. Monkey butt lotion – Would you use something with that name??? I know I wouldn’t!
4. Smack the monkey butt game – This must be a new game, I’ve never heard of it. I wonder if Parker Brothers came out with it? I hope it’s a board game, and not a “hands on” type of game!
5. “good alcoholic drink” outdoor party– I prefer Kahlua, most people like beer or wine, although Margarita’s are nice in the summer. I think it depends on what you like.
6. 33 years old and have mono – Yes, there seems to be a spike in mother’s in their 30’s getting mono. “Mono, it’s not just for teenagers anymore” Just like teenagers, Mother’s don’t get enough sleep or take care of themselves, that’s how they develop mono. Not the “going around kissing everyone” disease anymore! I should know, I had it last year, and my next door neighbor has it right now!
7. Butt self portraits– Okay, your butt is extremely talented!! How do you hold the pencil….oh wait…never mind…TMI!
8. A picher of a monkeys butt– A “picher”? Really? This would kill Elle! She absolutely hates spelling errors!
9. Monkey allergy– Do you take Singulair or Allegra for that? Or maybe you just need to stay away from monkey’s! They throw their feces y’know!
And Last but definitely NOT least…………..
10. Does caffeine make your ass itch? – NO! But apparently it makes yours itch! Time to call a doctor buddy!