This Is Why I Don't Want Birds!!!!!

If it’s Tuesday, this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It’s brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom. She really knows how to rock Tuesdays so go and check her out and tell her the Blue Monkey Butt sisters sent you.

Stacy

Yesterday was my birthday, it was fine, I worked, then went to football practice, y’know the same stuff I usually do.  We celebrated my birthday on Sunday anyways.  It’s funny how magical birthday’s are when you’re little, and how ordinary they are when you’re an adult.  I like birthday’s, unlike most people who want to pretend they’re not getting any older, I want to celebrate it.  I can remember having a birthday party when I was little and how angry I got because someone else got to go first at Pin the Tail on the Donkey.  I was the birthday girl, I should of gone first.  If you’ve ever seen that Bridezilla show, well, I could of been Birthdayzilla!

I live near a Hannaford Supermarket, it’s new and really convenient, the only problem is, they are SUPER FRIENDLY!  Like crazy Stepford super friendly!  It’s annoying, you try to run in and grab a few things and people are stopping to say hi and ask if you need any help.  Leave me alone, I’m trying to shop here, I don’t want to talk to you!  And then when you get to the checkout, they don’t have lines for registers, there’s just one line, and either the cashiers will yell, “I’ll take you here”, or someone will tell you which register to go to.  This bothers me, because I don’t like being told what to do…….especially at the supermarket.  Other times the cashiers are all yelling, “I can take you here, no I can take you here” what do you work on commission or something?  Leave me alone people!  Even my youngest hates going to that store, he said, “Mom, the people there are so nice, it creeps me out”.  Me too honey, me too.

Halloween is coming up soon, and the boys still don’t know what they want to be.  Also, we can dress up at work, and I can’t figure out what to be!  I want something original, that is appropriate for work, and comfortable to sit in.  Any ideas?  Last year I was Sarah Palin but this year I got nothing!

I can’t believe how stupid people are on The Amazing Race!  Elle and I are so much smarter than them, we soooo deserve to be on that show!  A few weeks ago they were shown a picture of Jackie Kennedy Onasis, and only one person knew who it was!  Are you kidding me?  Then this week they were given a clue that they had to go to The Persian Gulf.  Half of them thought it was a country!  Seriously!  They all seem like they should be on Jaywalking with Jay Leno, not representing the United States in a race around the world!  Elle and I may not know how to drive a stick shift, but we sure as hell know more than these people do!  Plus we’re sooo much funnier than them!  We’d probably lose because we’d be laughing so hard.  Come on Phil, give us a call, we’ll be the Monkey Butt Sisters!  I’ll make t-shirts!   And I’ll Be-Dazzle mine….. 

Elle

 Just an FYI Stacy I haven’t watched The Amazing Race yet this week so thanks for that. Although, that’s not as bad as the time she ruined Grey’s Anatomyfor me. I had DVR’d it and hadn’t watched it yet and Stacy told me that the cute guy got blown up in the OR. I’ve never ever watched another episode since then. It kinda ruined the whole thing for me.

Sunday I came home from work, walked into the basement and the cats came running over to me meowing and meowing. They ran over to the laundry room door and waited. I thought they were looking for some cat treats because I keep a bag in there. I opened the door and noticed all these spots of black crap all over the place. I’m like what the hell? Then I hear a fluttering noise and look up and see a freakin’ bird and then another freakin’ bird. How the hell do 2 birds end up in my basement in my laundry room???? I yell for my husband and he comes to the top of the stairs

Husband: What???

Me: There are two birds in the laundry room.

Husband: What???

Me: There are two birds in the laundry room.

Husband: What the hell? How’d they get in there?

Me: How the hell should I know

He comes downstairs and opens the laundry room door and sees all the bird crap everywhere and says my absolute favorite line of the whole bird fiasco.

Husband: This is why I don’t want birds!

It took a while, but we managed to get both stupid birds to fly out one of our basement windows. We still don’t have any idea how the hell they got into our house. It’s not like they could fly in with us without us noticing them. They were pretty big and they made a lot of noise when they were flying. I’d have to be pretty oblivious to not notice. At least they weren’t big black crows. That would’ve really freaked me out. Stacy said “I hope you got a picture for the blog.” Of course I did and those cobwebs in the picture were just put up for Halloween. Really.