Last night, my friend took me out for a birthday celebration. My birthday was in October, but between life, kids, school, work, and kids getting sick, it took awhile to get the time to do it. We went out at 8pm, which is usually the time when I have my yoga pants on, y’know so I can do yoga on the couch. We first went to a bar that was brand new. It was very nice and clean inside, no remnants of puke on the carpet anywhere. There was a band playing really loud that wasn’t that good. I think it was probably the singer’s fault, she was a very small, old woman with a voice that was borderline American Idol audition-esque. They had one groupie that was dancing up front, he was dressed really pretty. We went upstairs so that we could actually talk and not yell into each other’s ear. The upstairs had pool tables, darts, and video games. We noticed that the upstairs was all kids, like college kids, and downstairs was all old people. Of course the band was playing all old songs that the college kids wouldn’t know, except for one kid that said, “oh I love this song, it’s from Guitar Hero”. After we had enough of making fun of the people there we decided it was time to move on. We had to go down this huge wooden staircase to leave, which in heels was hard enough, I couldn’t imagine if you were drunk. Which made me wonder how many drunk people will fall down those stairs.
The next bar was on a one way street, so it took I think three times going around the block to finally find a place to park. We got to see all the skanks that were walking to the bar. That was good for some laughs. Which made me come to the conclusion that if all three girls are skanks, there’s no one to tell you that you don’t look good in that skin tight mini skirt and half shirt. They all looked like a train wreck! Inside there was a band there too, but it was much better than the first place. We went downstairs because it was so packed upstairs. There were the usual, lots of college kids, a few lonely looking old guys, and skanky girls. We of course didn’t fit into any of those categories. I don’t understand how someone can go to a bar by themselves. Why bother? Can’t you just drink at home, it’s cheaper! My friend decided we should take a picture of ourselves together, since we had make up on and all. This led to many re-takes, and many comments of, “oh my gosh, look how many chins I have”, “do I really look like a drowned rat? my hair is so flat!”, “look at my nose, what is up with that?”. We finally got one picture that was fuzzy, so that worked out good. Fuzzy is good sometimes. This of course led to us to trying to upload the picture to Facebook via my cell phone. Then we started checking out people’s status updates on Facebook. I said, “is this pathetic that we’re playing on Facebook at a bar?” We decided that it wasn’t because we weren’t sitting at home doing it. Before we were going to leave we went upstairs to see the band. Now, my friend is thin, looks really young, and is cute, so you would think she would get hit on. Well, she does, but not by who you’d think. Some really, really old guy, who looked like he was homeless, and like he smelled put his arm around her. I was thinking, “what the hell is this guy thinking?“, and “I’m so glad that’s not me”. I tolerated it for a minute or so, but the fact that he thought he could just put his arm around her and that was okay kinda ticked me off. I mean really, how old are you? And do you really think she would like you hitting on her? I finally pushed him arm away and said, “I don’t think her husband would like you putting your arm around her okay”. He finally got the hint that her bitchy friend (me) wasn’t kidding. My friend said that it happens to her every time she goes out, some really old guy hits on her. I don’t envy that!
All in all it was a good time, and we were able to talk more than we usually do. Usually when we try to have a conversation, we end up yelling at the kids in between, and then forget our train of thought. And when we left the bar we had one more fun thing to do, hit the Wendy’s 24 hour drive thru! Because it always tastes better after mid-night!