Years ago I lost my Social Security card. Today I decided to go down to the somewhat local Social Security Office and request a new one. I walk into the building and immediately see a metal detector and about 4 Guards. I realize that I’m in a Federal Building. Um, duh!! Great, I’ve come in with my “sneak popcorn into the movie theater” purse. Which as you can probably tell by the name, is huge! I take off my coat, put my keys, cell phone and huge suitcase purse into a bin and walk through the metal detector. Of course it goes off! Okay, I’m wearing heels, a skirt and a short sleeve shirt, I don’t know where I could be hiding something metal! I had to stand against the wall with my arms out while he used the handheld metal detector, of course it went off. I had to turn around and face him while he did it again. And then he tells me to sit in a chair and lift each leg…..hello I’m wearing a skirt here! Finally he tells me that I have steel supports in my heels. Great, thanks for the info. While all this is going on I notice some creepy, weird guy lurking around. Yes, he was lurking, and I was wondering why the Security Guards weren’t making him sit in the chair. I was told to go to the 2nd floor. As soon as I get into the elevator, creepy guy runs toward the elevator and yells, “hold the door“. Faster than I thought I could move I pushed the “DOOR CLOSE” button repeatedly, reciting in my head “door close, door close, door close”. I think I said it in my head, who knows at that point I may of been saying it out loud! Thankfully the door close button worked and he didn’t make it on the elevator with me. I made it up to the office and went to take a number. Guess who comes walking in? You guessed it creepy lurking guy.
They called the first number and it was his. He went up to the window and began to yell at the guy behind the window. He was going on and on and on about how they were trying to take away his money, and how he would be getting a job soon, blah blah blah. As he’s yelling, he begins to pass gas! Now I don’t mean a “oops I just passed gas by accident“, oh no, this was all out gas, like lasting a good 15-20 seconds and loud! The thing is the guy didn’t even skip a beat, he kept right on talking like he wasn’t doing anything! Like it wasn’t happening!! WHAT THE HELL?? Then he says, “you know there’s no cure for schizophrenia?” Great, now creepy lurking guy has become, crazy, gassy, creepy lurking guy! After he was finally done complaining, it was my turn. It took me all of 5 minutes to request the new card. But guess what I came out to find on my car 
A $10.00 parking ticket!! Thanks to Mr. Crazy, Gassy, Creepy Lurking Guy who complained and passed gas for too long, I went over my allotted 15 minutes that the meter gives you. Yep 15 minutes, that’s all they give you. Needless to say I will try to fight this. Maybe I can tell the judge to read our blog, or maybe the poor worker who had to help Crazy, Gassy, Creepy Lurking Guy can testify on my behalf that it wasn’t my fault that I took more than 15 minutes!!
There is no way in hell you could get in and out of the SS office in under 15 minutes around here. When I went last time there was a line of at least 20 people.