Stranger Danger

Our oldest daughter is 24, married and in my view, lives too far away. I got this email from her the other day and decided I did a great job as a mother hammering in “Stranger Danger”.

Dear Mom

So I realized last night while doing laundry just how paranoid I am. I thank you (and Mimi) for teaching me about stranger danger. That not everyone in the world is as nice as my family and to run away from people who say they have candy in their car or need help looking for their lost puppy. And you know what a paranoid hypochondriac I am, so feel free to take this with a grain (a large one) of salt. So sorry, but I do place some of my paranoia blame with you and Mimi! =) You know why? Because I do things like this…Last night (it was late, and dark, and stormy) while doing laundry I heard the outside screen door squeaking. The first thing I think of is..hmm, I wonder who that could be. Well when nothing happens the next thing I think of is that oh no, it could be some crazed serial killer who wants to rape and kill me (and in my head he is big and grizzly and carrying a big knife). So I open the door really wide really fast knowing that it is in my head and surprise no one is there. But the door is still squeaking while I am putting the laundry in the dryer and I can’t help but freak myself out.

Because I have in all seriousness (and on more than one occasion) told Josh that if I am not back in 5 minutes to please come looking.

Because when I leave work at night I:
1- make sure I am parked under a light.
2-look under my car as I am walking towards it to make sure no one is under it.
3-lock my doors immediately after I get in the car. and
4- Before I leave for my destination I always turn around and make sure no one is hiding in the backseat.

Because I still freak out when people stop and ask for directions (don’t trust anyone!)

Because when sleeping on the first floor of anything I have to keep the curtains closed. If I don’t then I will see the ax murderer staring in at me.

Because I still get nervous if I have to go to the bathroom alone at a function with lots of people there.

Because I still get nervous if I have to go out alone after dark

Because when Josh and I got our first apartment, I was home alone and in the bathroom and I heard the people downstairs moving around.  I was convinced that someone had managed to break into our apartment.

Because one time, while struggling with some groceries, I wouldn’t even let my landlord help me to my door

 

 

Because I have learned things like:Never to take any funny pills from anyone
There are lots of people who want to kidnap and kill me
That the only people who are on-line after midnight are freaks and perverts (because you know everyone who uses the internet lives in the eastern time zone).

 

 

Phew! My work here is done!

Elle