Why I Am Better Than a Horse

Okay, last night I was talking to Elle on Facebook, yes we have telephones, but she preferred talking to me this way because she was watching Psych, and apparently she can’t talk on the phone when that is on.  Anyways we started arguing back and forth about Mrs. Bear’s Contest, if you don’t know about it, then you can visit http://www.outnumberedtwotoone.today.com.  So, Elle tells me she is sooo going to win the Zombie Hunting Bumper Sticker, and I said, “No I am“, and back and forth it went.  I went over to Mrs. Bear’s blog and read Elle’s comment.  She was all complimenting Mrs. Bear, saying bad stuff about me, and then at the end she said, “I really wanted a horse, not a sister“.  This is something that she is never going to get over!  She refers back to it numerous times, especially when I tick her off, but it always comes back to how she wanted a horse, and instead she got a little sister.  This will be on her gravestone, “Here lies Elle, beloved mother, grandmother, and blogger.  Lived a long prosperous life, but wanted a horse, and got a little sister instead”.  Damnit!  So here are reasons why I am better than a horse:
1. You cannot have a blog with a horse-I guess you could, but horse’s don’t type, and they are not known for their humor.
2. I don’t leave big piles of crap all over your yard-If I did, that would be a whole other type of crazy!
3. A horse can’t be a babysitter-I always babysat for Elle (10yrs difference between us), a horse can’t do that, although I’m sure if you tried it, someone may call DSS on your ass  butt.
4. Horse’s Smell….really bad-I can honestly say, I do NOT smell anything like a horse.
5. You have to birth a horse-Okay, you have a horse, it gets knocked up, you have to deliver that thing, Elle did not have to help me birth either child!  EWWWWWWWWWWW!
6. I have never kicked Elle in the stomach-Yes, a horse kicked Elle right in the stomach, I have yet to do that.  She hasn’t pushed me to that level…..well, not yet anyways.
7. You can’t make fun of people with a horse-Yes, that is a favorite pastime of ours, but if you tried doing that with a horse, well, people would be making fun of you! “Look at the crazy woman with the horse”
8. Horse’s don’t get sarcasm-I sooooooo get sarcasm! That is the number 1 trait in our family!
9. Horse’s aren’t known for doing stupid thingsa horse doesn’t do much, I on the other hand do at least 2 stupid things a day that Elle makes fun of me for!
10. A horse can’t come over and help clean your house-Yes, when there was a big party I would come over and help Elle clean.  A horse would knock stuff over, and crap in your living room.  I did not do either of those.

So there you go.  Plus, Mom and Dad NEVER would of gotten her a horse!  I’m sure Elle will counter with a post about how a horse would be better than me.  See what I have to put up with?  Everyone thinks she’s the nice one, but really she is more evil than me, because she hides it!  Only I know the truth…..so Mrs. Bear if you are reading this, please don’t give the Zombie Hunting Permit to Elle, she will use it for evil (to taunt me), not for hunting zombies as I would do.  🙂


Elle Here……All I can say is Wow ! It’s amazing what some people will do to their sisters all because of a little Zombie Hunting Permit. A couple months ago she wrote a post about how wonderful a sister I was, now with a Zombie Hunting Permit on the line she’s attacking me. Let’s see…where should I start..Okay, Friday night. For those of you who have been reading our blog and know a little about what I’ve been doing with Marianne for 2 weeks might understand. My parents arrived at our house Friday at 5 and I had to be at work at 5:30. I  barely had time to talk to them and was sooooo happy they were there. I got home a little after 9 and was trying to have dinner, talk to my parents about the trip and how DD (yes, the DD who left the horse comment for Stacy) was doing at Disney and watch a little of Psych. Sorry that I couldn’t talk on the phone too. All she wanted to do was talk about that Zombie Hunting Permit anyway.

Okay, she did make a few points about horses…..but

1. You can ride a horse, not your sister. It makes your mom kind of mad.

2. Horses don’t smell bad, I used to love that horse smell when I was a little girl.

3. I didn’t get kicked in the stomach by a horse…I got kicked on my right hip. Actually, still have a large hard scar there to prove it. Although, I wasn’t too fond of Leslie ,the horse, after that, it was actually Carrie and Krista’s fault that it happened, pushing me up on a horse in a field without a saddle then saying “be careful”. Next thing I know I’m sailing through the air and getting kicked and they’re falling on the ground in hysterics. Then Carrie saying “Don’t tell my mother.” and fool that I was, I didn’t. Gee, how did she not notice that I couldn’t walk?  You remember that Krista????

4. I was so gonna get a horse. Mom told me that I could have a horse and we could keep it up at Grammy and Papa’s house at their barn and Papa would take care of it. Then before it could happen, Papa had a heart attack and it would’ve been too much work for him to take care of it. So I was this close to getting a horse.

5. Why would she call me evil? WUWT? Even her co-worker Wendy left me a message on my facebook page that I must be the nice sister and she’s the evil one. That’s what evil people do, they try to place the evil blame on other innocent people…that’s why it’s evil.

6. Why don’t you ask her what happened to my dog beloved dog Ginger? I double dog dare you.