No Offense…But You're Ugly!

The other day I was watching t.v. with our youngest son, and a commercial came on.  He said to me, “No offense, but that guy is ugly!”  I said, “honey that’s not nice to say, you don’t say things like that about people”.  To his defense the guy was ugly, but that’s not the point.  This starts a whole conversation between us.  “Mom, it’s okay to say that because I said no offense”  “Um, no that’s not okay to say even if you say no offense”.  “Yes it is, it means you don’t mean any offense, so what you say people can’t get mad at”  This is the logic of an 8 year old.  I told him that they are not some magic words you can say and then say anything you want.  To this he says, “well there was a kid at school and their shirt didn’t cover their stomach and I told them that they needed to lose some weight”.  “But don’t worry, I said No Offense first.”  AHHHHHH!  Oh shit!  Crap in a crapbasket! How do I convey to an 8 year old that this is not acceptable?  And who do I have to thank for his new found logic?  Huh?  Spongebob?  Drake and Josh? ICarly?  He must of heard it somewhere, and I know I don’t say it.  All I know is he is going back to school after vacation and I’m sure he’s going to say it to a few people tomorrow.  I can just hear it now, I’ll get a phone call that he was written up because he said, “No offense Amber, but those shoes don’t go with that outfit”, “no offense Billy but you smell like you have never taken a shower”, “no offense Mrs. Teacher but your butt looks big in those pants”  AHHHHHH!  This is how he is, he is very honest, and now with his two magic words he can be very honest!

The next day after this conversation my husband and I were watching Talladega Nights and Will Ferrell says, “With All Due Respect”, and then says something completely rude.  The other actor tries to explain to him that he can’t just say With All Due Respect, and then say anything he wants.  OMG!  It’s the same conversation I was having with our son except the words were different.  Will Ferrell had the same argument that our son had!  I’ll await the phone call from the principle.  But considering he used to be my boss, maybe I can get out trouble…maybe.