This is Why I Don’t Want Birds Deja Vu 

Yesterday morning I went into the garage to leave for work when I heard an odd sound and something swooped past my head. It was a damn bird flying around the garage. As my sister pointed out later, at least it wasn’t a bat.  That’s the truth!

I spent 30 minutes waiting for that damn bird to fly out of the garage. You’d think having an exit as big as a garage door it would be a fairly simple matter. You’d be wrong. Finally, I gave up and went to work. Nothing like being late because of a bird being stuck in your garage.

Here he is, mocking me. At least the Corvette was moved to her winter home the day before. I can just imagine how pleased my husband would’ve been to come home and find bird poop all over his car.

I stopped back home for lunch and left the garage door open. He must’ve finally figured out how to fly out because when I left for work again, he was gone.

This morning we were talking about the bird.

Me: I can’t believe I was late for work because of that stupid bird. I finally gave up and went in.

Husband: Wait, you went to work and left it in the garage?

Yes, I did. What else could I have done?  I’m not the bird whisperer.

All of this reminded me of the time we had two big black birds in our basement at our old house. Ironically, it was 7 years ago, almost to the exact day. What’s up with that birds??!

Here’s how that whole story went down.

I came home from work and  walked into the basement. The cats came running over to me meowing and meowing. They ran over to the laundry room door and waited. I thought they were looking for some cat treats because I keep a bag in there. I opened the door and noticed all these spots of black crap all over the place. I’m like what the hell? Then I hear a fluttering noise and look up and see a freakin’ huge black bird and then another freakin’ huge black bird. How the hell do 2 birds end up in my basement,  in my laundry room???? I yell for my husband.

Husband: What???
Me: There are two birds in the laundry room.
Husband: What??? Are you sure?
Me: Of course I’m sure!! There are two birds in the laundry room!
Husband: What the hell? How’d they get in there?
Me: How the hell should I know?
He ran downstair, opened the laundry room door, saw all the bird crap everywhere, and said my absolute favorite line of the whole bird fiasco.
Husband: This is why I don’t want birds!
Like I secretly brought home two giant black crapping birds and stuck them in the laundry room.

It took a while, but we managed to get both stupid birds to fly out one of our basement windows. We still don’t have any idea how the hell they got into our house. It’s not like they could fly in with us without us noticing them. They were pretty big and they made a lot of noise when they were flying. I’d have to be pretty oblivious to not notice. At least they weren’t big black crows. That would’ve really freaked me out. My sister said, “I hope you got a picture for the blog.” Of course, I did, and those cobwebs in the picture were just put up for Halloween. Really.