{"id":1121,"date":"2009-06-04T08:43:38","date_gmt":"2009-06-04T12:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/?p=1121"},"modified":"2009-06-04T08:43:38","modified_gmt":"2009-06-04T12:43:38","slug":"you-are-so-not-my-bff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/2009\/06\/04\/you-are-so-not-my-bff\/","title":{"rendered":"You are so not my BFF!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><strong>*Note names and places have been changed to protect the innocent and the incredibly bitchy<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>I work part time at a local store and often run into people from the kid&#8217;s school and usually we will end up chatting about the kids, school, etc. It&#8217;s June and school will be out in just a few weeks here. I volunteer in J-Man&#8217;s class and go to all the school parties, functions, field trips, what have you. Just last week while at work, I ran into one of the mother&#8217;s from J-Man&#8217;s class, hereafter referred to as Super Bitch or SB<\/p>\n<p>Me (recognizing her): Hi!<\/p>\n<p>SB: Hi. (Looking totally clueless)<\/p>\n<p>Me: I&#8217;m J-Man&#8217;s mom. He&#8217;s in your daughter&#8217;s class.<\/p>\n<p>SB: Oh&#8230;&#8230;(possible vague recognition) You&#8217;re not <strong><em>just <\/em><\/strong>a <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">piece of crap<\/span>Sav-Market person.<\/p>\n<p>Me (possible sarcasm coming out): Rigghhhhht, I&#8217;m not <strong><em>just <\/em><\/strong>a <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">piece of crap<\/span>Sav-Market person.<\/p>\n<p>SB: Oh, I didn&#8217;t mean you were <strong><em>just<\/em><\/strong> a <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">piece of crap<\/span>Sav-Market person.<\/p>\n<p>You better believe she did. So tonight is J-Man&#8217;s class play and I&#8217;m sure I&#8217;ll run into SB there. I can&#8217;t wait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>*Note names and places have been changed to protect the innocent and the incredibly bitchy I work part time at a local store and often run into people from the kid&#8217;s school and usually we will end up chatting about the kids, school, etc. It&#8217;s&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"__cvm_playback_settings":[],"__cvm_video_id":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[1280,1640],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3ISGQ-i5","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1121\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}