{"id":301,"date":"2008-11-23T14:17:40","date_gmt":"2008-11-23T18:17:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/?p=301"},"modified":"2008-11-23T14:17:40","modified_gmt":"2008-11-23T18:17:40","slug":"not-your-mothers-tupperware-party","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/2008\/11\/23\/not-your-mothers-tupperware-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Your Mother's Tupperware Party!"},"content":{"rendered":"

CAUTION-THIS POST CONTAINS, SOME ADULT THEMES AND REFERENCES.\u00a0 NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER 18 OR FOR MY MUM OR DAD.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last night I went to a party.\u00a0 Not a Tupperware party, or jewelry or candle party.\u00a0 It was a party just for adult women where you go and buy certain small machinery.\u00a0 I think you catch my drift.\u00a0 I wasn’t going to go, but Elle made me go.\u00a0 She was a mean big sister, and double dog dared me, and told me I had to take one for the team and go.\u00a0 I guess I’ll think of it as “investigative reporting”, that’s what I was doing, investigating weird items in some one’s home that I did not know, around women I did not know, all in all a very awkward situation.\u00a0 I was invited by “Accountant Ryan’s” wife.\u00a0 Weird huh?\u00a0 Now I have a glimpse into their life that I really didn’t need.\u00a0 Elle came up with a safe word for us to use when we are talking to each other and we get into that awkward TMI territory.\u00a0 The word is “AARDVARCK<\/strong>“.\u00a0 So, we yell that word when we don’t want to hear anything else.\u00a0 It was a very aardvarck<\/strong> night!<\/p>\n

So, they start off the evening with lotions, and body items.\u00a0 Supposedly sweet lotions that will make your skin soft, but also with pheromones to attract the opposite sex.\u00a0 Okay, I don’t think I had the appropriate reaction to these products.\u00a0 As they were being passed around I realized my sinuses were filling up, then my nose began to run, then the sneezing started and my eyes were getting really itchy.\u00a0 I’m thinking sounding like Elmer Fudd, and having a runny nose is actually NOT<\/strong> a turn on to the opposite sex!\u00a0 So I proceeded to the bathroom to blow my nose and try to wash the stuff off of me!\u00a0 I also noticed that the hostesses cat started laying on the couch right behind my head, and I swear it was licking my hair.\u00a0 I asked the woman if cats are attracted to the pheromones, because apparently it started liking me!\u00a0 Thank god my dog is fixed, I did not want to come home to him attacking my leg!\u00a0 Next came the dreaded “products”, that we got to\u00a0 pass around.\u00a0 The woman wanted to show us a particular useful product that had a suction cup on the bottom of it.\u00a0 She slammed it down on a chair and then proceeded to lift the chair by holding onto the product.\u00a0 I said, “well that’s one way to move a chair”.<\/em>\u00a0 I really wanted to take it and throw it against the wall to see if it would stick, y’know like those suction cup darts, but I was afraid it would go through the wall.\u00a0 Let’s just say it was pretty hefty.\u00a0 Plus, I don’t think the hostess would appreciate me throwing it at her wall.\u00a0\u00a0 She then came out with a whip that was shaped like a paintbrush.\u00a0 Before she passed it around she said it was made out of latex so if you are allergic, don’t touch it.\u00a0 Which made me burst out laughing because in my head I’m thinking about Elle, who is <\/em><\/strong>allergic, and I’m just picturing her becoming red, and swollen and just having a huge allergic reaction!\u00a0 Thinking that if she had to go to the emergency room, and explain why she was having an allergic reaction, it would be the funniest thing ever!\u00a0 I would sooo want to be there for that!\u00a0 Can you imagine?\u00a0 I know it sounds mean, but she would be thinking the same thing about me!\u00a0<\/p>\n

Because we try to keep this website, somewhat family friendly, and our mother is an avid reader along with our children, I will not be posting the god awful picture that I sent Elle via cell phone last night, (AARDVARCK<\/strong>!).\u00a0 Instead here is a list from the catalog of the names of some of the products.\u00a0 Which makes me wonder who the hell came up with these stupid names?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Butterfly Kiss<\/strong> (reminds me of that stupid song<\/em>), Chubby G<\/strong> (which sounds like a big rapper to me<\/em>), Glitter G<\/strong> (gay rapper<\/em>), G Love<\/strong> (another gansta rapper<\/em>), Insatiable G<\/strong> (again, rapper<\/em>), Mystical Dragon<\/strong> (Chinese restaurant<\/em>), Passion Flower<\/strong> (good alcoholic drink<\/em>), Passion Wave<\/strong> (Doesn’t Snapple have that flavor<\/em>?)\u00a0 PulsaTron<\/strong> (sounds like something my husband would have in the garage<\/em>), Pulsing Butterfly<\/strong> (a butterfly<\/em> that my boys have ripped one of the wings off of<\/em>), Starburst<\/strong> (candy<\/em>), Thumper<\/strong> (um, sad Bambi movie<\/em>),\u00a0Wall<\/strong> Banger<\/strong> (alcoholic drink<\/em>), Bumpy Ride<\/strong> (a car ride that makes you throw up<\/em>), Carribbean Jelly<\/strong> (something you put on toast when you’re in the Bahamas<\/em>), Tickle Me<\/strong> (Elmo anyone<\/em>?), Decadent Indulgence<\/strong> (some kind of chocolate dessert, like brownies<\/em>), Share<\/strong> (something I yell at my kids to do all<\/em> day<\/em>), Terra Firma<\/strong> (dirt<\/em>), The Sidekick<\/strong> (Batman & Robin<\/em>?), Magic Rings<\/strong> (Lord of the Rings<\/em>), and the Triple<\/strong> Blaster<\/strong> (isn’t that a water gun<\/em>?)\u00a0 Sorry, I don’t take this stuff seriously at all, and if Elle could of been there with me, we would of been kicked out for laughing and making fun of most of the stuff!\u00a0 The whole point was to blog about it, so there you go.\u00a0 I wonder what my next mission will be…….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

CAUTION-THIS POST CONTAINS, SOME ADULT THEMES AND REFERENCES.\u00a0 NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER 18 OR FOR MY MUM OR DAD. Last night I went to a party.\u00a0 Not a Tupperware party, or jewelry or candle party.\u00a0 It was a party just for adult women where you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"__cvm_playback_settings":[],"__cvm_video_id":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[9,15],"tags":[75,995,1242,1273,1510,1772],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3ISGQ-4R","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}