{"id":609,"date":"2009-02-18T09:51:31","date_gmt":"2009-02-18T13:51:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/?p=609"},"modified":"2013-01-28T15:14:51","modified_gmt":"2013-01-28T19:14:51","slug":"hit-by-the-special-bus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/2009\/02\/18\/hit-by-the-special-bus\/","title":{"rendered":"Hit By The "Special" Bus"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wanted to share a little story about me, my car, and a “special”<\/em> bus.\u00a0 Yesterday on my way to work it was a pretty uneventful ride.\u00a0 It was until I was almost to work.\u00a0 I was sitting at a stop light waiting to turn left.\u00a0 Now this road usually<\/em> has two lanes, one to turn left and one to turn right.\u00a0 Now by usually, <\/em>I mean it does until you have big-ass snowbanks on either side of the road.\u00a0 If you have a skinny, tiny car, like a mini-cooper or a Prius you should be fine, anything bigger and you are not going to fit.\u00a0 With that being said, there I sat waiting for the light to turn, when I glance in my rear-view mirror and see a “special”<\/em> bus.\u00a0 You know what I mean, the short bus.\u00a0 So I see the bus try to pass the line of cars on the right hand side, and I”m thinking, “yea right, never gonna make it.”<\/strong>\u00a0 But yet she tries, and just as she is passing me, “BAAAAMMMMM!”<\/strong> and my whole car jerks to the right!\u00a0 “Son of a bitch, she hit my car!!”<\/strong>\u00a0 So I lay on the horn and she just keeps on driving like nothing happened.\u00a0 At this point I am livid!\u00a0 I cannot believe that she can smash into my car and keep driving!\u00a0 So when the light turns green I go after her!\u00a0 I am so angry, getting angrier by the second.\u00a0 Luckily I know where the school is and I go around the block and pull up right behind her!\u00a0 I park right behind her, jump out of my car, go stomping over to her window in my 3 inch heels, and bang on her window with my fist!\u00a0 I can feel my heart pounding, I am so angry at how stupid this woman is!\u00a0 She rolls the window down, and I go all “crazy white girl”<\/em><\/strong> on her!\u00a0 “Do you know that you just slammed into my car back there at the light???”<\/strong>\u00a0 “um, no, I’m sorry I didn’t notice<\/em>“,\u00a0 “WHAT!\u00a0 How could you NOT notice hitting my car?? There was a LOUD BANG, and my car was pushed over to the right, what is wrong with you?\u00a0 And then you drive off????”<\/strong>\u00a0 “oh, sorry I didn’t mean to”<\/em>\u00a0 At this point my head spun around, and pea soup came out of my mouth, yes I went all “Linda Blair in the Exorcist”<\/strong> on the “special bus driver”.<\/em>\u00a0 I stomp off to go look at the damage that has been done to my car by the big bus that slammed into the side of me!\u00a0 She follows me and we stare……..and we stare some more…….wow, I can’t believe what I am seeing here<\/strong>!\u00a0 And I know she is thinking the same thing…….WTH!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Where the hell is the damage???”<\/em>\u00a0 I did not look at my car before I went psychotic on the bus driver, apparently my car is soooo old it is still made out of metal (this is why it has so much rust), because there was NOT<\/strong> one single dent, scrap, mark etc, on my stinking car!!!!\u00a0 So knowing that I now look like a very crazy<\/span>, lunatic I say the following to her, “You are sooo lucky there isn’t any damage to my car!!\u00a0 You need to be more careful driving that thing!”<\/strong>\u00a0 And I got in my rusty, 19 year old tank, that must have an invisible\u00a0force field around it, and drove to work….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wanted to share a little story about me, my car, and a “special” bus.\u00a0 Yesterday on my way to work it was a pretty uneventful ride.\u00a0 It was until I was almost to work.\u00a0 I was sitting at a stop light waiting to turn…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"__cvm_playback_settings":[],"__cvm_video_id":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[249,413,438,455,1330,1412,1557],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3ISGQ-9P","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=609"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6236,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609\/revisions\/6236"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=609"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=609"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=609"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}