{"id":899,"date":"2009-04-06T05:00:57","date_gmt":"2009-04-06T09:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/?p=899"},"modified":"2009-04-06T05:00:57","modified_gmt":"2009-04-06T09:00:57","slug":"mental-defective-monday-9-butts-and-sluts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/2009\/04\/06\/mental-defective-monday-9-butts-and-sluts\/","title":{"rendered":"Mental Defective Monday 9-Butts and Sluts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/03\/2q1xymd.gif\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-729\" title=\"2q1xymd\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/03\/2q1xymd.gif?resize=280%2C267\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"267\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Yes, it is that time again.\u00a0 Time to share with you all the weird, crazy and sometimes downright nasty keyword searches that lead people to our little site.\u00a0 Enjoy the world&#8217;s fascination with &#8220;butts&#8221; and &#8220;sluts&#8221; this week!\u00a0 We are so freakin&#8217; classy!<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. The House Was Eerily Quiet Sarcasm &#8211; <\/strong>how exactly is sarcasm eerily quiet?\u00a0 Because in our homes, our sarcasm is loud and in your face.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Slut Mother &#8211;<\/strong> are you looking for one or did you have one?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Monkey Butt Jewelry &#8211;<\/strong> is that jewelry for monkey butts or jewelry that looks like a monkey&#8217;s butt?<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Drill Monkey Blue Butt &#8211; <\/strong>I&#8217;ve never heard of drilling\u00a0a monkey before.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Do People Put Milk In Butt Of Torture<\/strong>&#8211; What&#8217;chu talkin&#8217; bout Willis?<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Iraq Monkey Butt<\/strong> &#8211; I&#8217;m sorry but we don&#8217;t do racial profiling here, so we don&#8217;t know which monkey&#8217;s are from Iraq, ask the State Dept. they like to visit us every now and then.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. &#8220;Poke the Monkey&#8221;<\/strong> &#8211; I don&#8217;t think you want to do that, they do throw feces!<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. How To Pull If You Are Ugly<\/strong> &#8211; Why?\u00a0 Are the directions different if you&#8217;re ugly?\u00a0 And you&#8217;ve come to the wrong blog, because we are two smoking hot moms!<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. Don&#8217;t Wear Underwear Under Yoga Pants<\/strong> &#8211; okay, maybe you are the <strong>&#8220;Slut Mother<\/strong>&#8220;, or maybe you&#8217;re Britney Spears, either way, we don&#8217;t need to know that bit of information! TMI!<\/p>\n<p><strong>10. Tall As Sisters Butt &#8211; <\/strong>if that&#8217;s how tall you are, wouldn&#8217;t you be a <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">midget, <\/span>little person?<\/p>\n<p><strong>11. Butt Russians &#8211; <\/strong>I&#8217;ve heard of a White Russian, a Black Russian, Russian dressing, Russian Vodka, but never a Butt Russian.\u00a0 Maybe our Russian spammers will enlighten us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>12. Lassie Licking Butt &#8211;<\/strong> I don&#8217;t remember that episode.\u00a0 I&#8217;m not sure what that would signal, I think when Timmy is stuck in the well, Lassie usually just barks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>13. Blue Ice Skating Monkey &#8211; <\/strong>is he cold?\u00a0 Maybe that&#8217;s why he&#8217;s blue!<\/p>\n<p><strong>14. Slut Natures &#8211; <\/strong>are you talking about your mom again?<\/p>\n<p><strong>15. Jackass Husbands &#8211;<\/strong> I don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;ve heard, but we would never ever refer to our husbands as &#8220;jackasses&#8221;.\u00a0 You must be mistaken.\u00a0 <em>(shhhh, just smile and nod)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>16. Sad Monkey Pictures &#8211; <\/strong>how do you tell if a monkey is sad and what makes a monkey sad?\u00a0 Take away his banana? What, there&#8217;s no lice to eat?\u00a0 No feces to throw?\u00a0 No people to give monkey pox to?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><strong>17. Words That Start With Butt &#8211;<\/strong>let&#8217;s see, butthead, butter, buttwipe, buttmunch, buttugly, buttocks, button, butterfly, butthole, buttRussians.<\/p>\n<p><strong>18. CLEANING POO FROM CHICKS BUTT &#8211;<\/strong> We&#8217;re gonna go with someone is cleaning poo from a cute, little yellow baby chick, not something nasty.<\/p>\n<p><strong>19. Oh No He Scares The Crap Out of Me &#8211;<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Stacy<\/strong>-Christopher Walken scares the crap out of me,\u00a0 <strong>Elle<\/strong>-people who don&#8217;t take their meds scare the crap out of me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>20. Husbands Stupid Dog &#8211;<\/strong> oh sorry, not here!\u00a0 Our husband&#8217;s don&#8217;t like our dogs, and they always call them &#8220;our stupid dog&#8221; not theirs!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 Yes, it is that time again.\u00a0 Time to share with you all the weird, crazy and sometimes downright nasty keyword searches that lead people to our little site.\u00a0 Enjoy the world&#8217;s fascination with &#8220;butts&#8221; and &#8220;sluts&#8221; this week!\u00a0 We are so freakin&#8217; classy! 1.&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"__cvm_playback_settings":[],"__cvm_video_id":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[252,345,957,1051,1912],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3ISGQ-ev","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=899"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/899\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=899"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=899"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bluemonkeybutt.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=899"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}