What A Shi#@y Conversation!
Bichon Frise Going to the Bathroom by Jay Schmetz
The following post contains dirty language (literally), so if you don’t want to read anything that has to do with poop, crap or shit, please stop reading. So, today Elle sent me a text in reference to um, well, constipation. Let’s just set the record straight that neither Elle nor I were constipated, and the constipated-ee I guess you would say, will remain nameless. Well, because Elle and I are like 12 or 13 year old children we continued to text back and forth about this subject. I was laughing out loud (literally) when I was reading her texts, I don’t know if you will find our warped sisterly sense of humor amusing, but I thought I would share it anyways. And Mum, sorry for the excessive “shit” use on today’s post. Here goes:
ELLE: Just got a call that “so and so” has to have X-rays because she’s so constipated or literally full of shit.
STACY: Wow thanks for sharing that
ELLE: If my plans get messed up because of “Full of shit so and so” I will be stressed out!
STACY: That would be pretty shitty.
ELLE: Holy Crap!
STACY: Crap in a crap basket.
ELLE: The shitters full.
STACY: POOP-people order our patties.
ELLE: Oops I crapped my pants!
STACY: You’re shitting me!
ELLE: Same shit different day….literally
STACY: You scared the shit out of me
ELLE: No shit sherlock.
STACY: Shit for brains!
ELLE: Now the shit is really going to hit the fan!
STACY: You’ll be shit out of luck!
ELLE: Up shits creek!
STACY: Wipe that shit eating grin off your face!
ELLE: Shitstorm
STACY: Shitzu
ELLE: Shit on a shingle
STACY: Shittake (mushroom)
ELLE: Does a bear shit in the woods?
STACY: Happier than a pig in shit!
We probably would of kept going but J-Man was playing with Elle’s phone. And just for the record, it’s hard to think up a “shit” saying off the top of your head without googling it!
Elle:
For the record I didn’t have to Google any of them or have anybody that could help. Not like I was going to ask my kids. Just sayin’. I can’t wait to see the keyword searches from this post. Also, for the record and for Mom, I never actually say these things. My worst expression is crap in a crap basket.
