The Whole Bigfoot Thing

So supposedly 2 guys in Georgia found a dead Sasquatch. Okaayyyyy. Then they had the bright idea of dragging it’s carcass home and sticking it in a freezer. I have to admit my first thought wasn’t “Oh cool, they can prove BigFoot is real.” No, it was “How the hell are they gonna get that Sasquatch stench out of that freezer?” Can you imagine? I’m thinking that BigFoot isn’t real keen on hygiene. I’m not trying to stereotype here, but really, c’mon. I bet bathing isn’t on his top 10 list. Which also brings me to the question, who’s freezer is it? Did they race home and start throwing the food out of the freezer? The wife comes out, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“We found a super stinky BigFoot carcass and we need to put it in the freezer so we can prove to the whole world that BigFoot is real.”

Now you know she’s already had to put up with them going out in their spare time hunting for BigFoot and now they want to take her freezer and stick a dead, stinky BigFoot in it. Even Clorox won’t get that clean. What time is it when you have a dead BigFoot in your freezer? It’s time for a new husband!

This reminds me of the time we were driving back from a wedding and stopped at a Burger King somewhere in Pennsylvannia. My husband came out of the restroom shaking his head and told me “Some homeless guy in there was telling me he saw BigFoot in the woods. He sleeps out there and so, apparently, does Big Foot.” Then the guy came out of the bathroom and started talking to himself. That’s when we took the kids and went across the street to McDonalds. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t a crazy, homeless,woods sleeping guy after all.