Nature Unleashed

It’s getting a little freaky around here. Maybe we’re going to have a hard winter or else the animals have all been smoking crack. I’m going with the crack theory because the idea of a hard winter makes me want to go to bed and not get up until May. Two times in the past week I’ve seen some weird crap while walking the dogs in the backyard.  As I was walking Toby out by the woods I saw something in front of me hanging from a bush. “Hmmm, I say to myself, what kind of freaky thing is that?” I go in for a closer look as my mind finally registers what it is. Yes, it’s a squirrel’s tail and since I haven’t seen any tail-less squirrels running around I’m pretty sure something ate the rest of it. Okay, what kind of creature eats a squirrel and not the tail?

 Today, walking Toby once again, I see some deer in the woods. Oh look, pretty deer. There were a couple baby deer and then a mommy deer. Except, she looks like an angry deer, a really angry deer. She starts staring us down. Stupid loser coward dog doesn’t even bark. Then she stamps her front hoof at us. That’s when I start thinking maybe getting out of there would be a good idea. By the time she does the second hoof stomp, I’m dragging the dog out of there. I look down at him and say “I’m so throwing you to the deer if she comes after us.”