Okay, Okay, I’m Thankful for a Few Things
Unless you are one of the last people on this planet to not have a Facebook account, you’ve probably noticed all the “I’m thankful for …….” status updates every single day this month or maybe you have been posting your own thankful status updates. I admit, I haven’t participated. It’s not that I’m not thankful for my family, friends, soldiers, country, pets, and job, because I am. I just don’t think putting it up on Facebook is going to really show the people I care for the most how grateful I am to have them in my life.
Buuuuut I did manage to come up with a list of sensible (the use of the word sensible might not actually mean sensible in this particular instance) things I am truly thankful for.
1. I’m thankful (really thankful) that monkeys can’t really fly like those creepy monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. Besides making it easier to spread monkey pox through the general population, can you imagine driving down the road or riding your bike and a monkey flying overhead poops on you?
2. I’m thankful that all the election commercials and television coverage is over. Finally!
3. I’m thankful I don’t have to get up at 6am for a few days due to Thanksgiving break.
4. I’m thankful that my husband has given up being a sort of vegan. (Sort of vegans don’t eat meat or any kind of animal product but they’re okay with wearing leather but if they’ve had a margarita or two, the whole not eating meat thing kind of gets forgotten and then the next day you get blamed for enticing them with meat) Just sayin’
5. I’m thankful that none of my neighbors have a pet monkey that they dress up in children’s clothes and pretend it’s their child. Well, that I know of anyway. Crap
6. I’m thankful my husband bought me a new pooper scooper for the yard then proceeded to pick up all the poop all by himself.
7. I’m thankful that when I accidentally drop something in the garbage disposal and I reach my hand in there to pull it out, the garbage disposal doesn’t mysteriously start by itself and shred up my hand like I’m in a scene from Supernatural.
8. I’m thankful we don’t own one of those weird monkey toys that claps the cymbals together. Nothing says you’re about to die a horrible death like a creepy cymbal monkey. Creepy cymbal monkeys are sort of banned at our house
9. I’m was thankful that annoying woman from last year’s holiday Target commercials is gone, until I saw Target’s latest annoying commercial. “Great idea to change from one annoying woman to an annoying man and woman.”
10. I’m thankful for the chocolatey goodness that is Nutella. Nuf said!
11. I’m thankful people Google weird things like “big butt squirrels” (#10) , “who invented moon sand” (#1!) ,and “what is your strange addiction?” (#3). All these weird things lead them to us. (I have to admit that now I’m curious about big butt squirrels. I bet they feel uncomfortable around the small butt squirrels)
12. I’m totally thankful for all things Disney!
13. I’m also very thankful for all of my wonderful friends and family, as long as they don’t own any monkeys!
Elle
