Mental Defective Monday
It’s that day of the week again. The day when we list all the crazy, weird things people google, and end up at our lovely site! We had 14 searches for just “monkey butts“! But a lot of items last week were so bad we couldn’t even list them. So, to keep the rating at PG-13, and not make you sick, we’ve censored some of the really scary, creepy, gross searches! You would be thanking us if you only knew……..
1. Monkeybutt Dog – what kind of dog breed looks like a monkey’s butt?
2. Crazy Things in Butt – okay this is bordering on R-Rated, depending on how you look at it, or what “items” you may be referring to, either way, I think the message here should be, “Don’t Put Crazy Things in Your Butt Dumbass“!
3. Butt Disease Pictures – Does anyone know what Butt Disease is, and how the hell do you get that!!? And why the hell would you want to see pictures of it!!??
4. That’s My Sister’s Butt – We’ll say it again, not that kind of website, move along perverts people, there’s nothing to see here.
5. Dog Ate Something Smelly – Isn’t that the reason the dog ate it?
6. Words That Start With Monkey – Monkey-Pox, Monkey-bite, Monkey-suit, and of course Monkey-butt!
7. Monkey Smelling Butt– Who’s butt is he smelling? His own or someone else’s? They didn’t specify…or does someone’s butt smell like a monkey???? Maybe they have that Butt Disease!!
8. Dog Slides Butt Along Floor – hey genius, that means your dog has to go poo, not a neat trick he learned, so get off the computer and walk him! Or else he will be doing #11! (see below)
9. Shaved Monkey Butts – Gross, I guess maybe that’s the monkeys that go to the spa, or at least a “Metro-Sexual Monkey” . Shaving a monkey’s butt is also a great way to lose a hand, and/or have feces thrown at you!
10. A Career That Starts With The Letter F– Fireman, Flight Attendant, Flutist, Fig-Picker, Freight Train Driver, Flamboyantly Gay (oops, not a career), Flip-Flop Maker, Flight Engineer, Flight Instructor, Fence Installer, Fry-Cook (yes I’m watching Spongebob right now), Floozy (our mom’s word for a prostitute), Ferret Breeder, Fisherman, etc…..
11. Crap Out Of Butt – WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO SEARCH THIS? Do you normally crap out of somewhere else?
And then we come to the three REALLY REALLY gross searches that we cannot bring ourselves to repeat. Believe us, it was bad enough reading them! Let’s just say, keep your dogs locked up, and your meat in a freezer. You don’t even wanna know what someone wanted to do with a dog and some meat!
This didn’t come from a keyword search, but it was just begging to be added to Mental Defective Monday. I saw on the ABC News website that a company in New Delhi India is trying to market Cow Urine Cola (CUC). What the hell?!!! Who in their right mind would ever knowingly drink CUC? I know, the cow in India is sacred, but does that make it’s urine sacred too. They are even claiming that CUC is a cure for cancer. Also, in the article is was mentioned that CUC would need a lot of flavoring added. Apparently, cow urine tastes bad. Who knew? On the plus side, there seems to be an abundance of cow urine so CUC would be cheap.. Wow! They don’t mention if it will have caffeine in it. Let’s see, they could have Caffeine Free Cow Urine Cola (CFCUC), Diet Cow Urine Cola (DCUC), you get the idea. Hey kids, drink your CUC, it cures cancer.
Happy Mental Defective Monday!
Elle & Stacy
