Random Thoughts aka Mom, Don’t Read This!
***Warning*** If you are my mother do not read any further! There is a paragraph containing things that we aren’t allowed to talk about except with vague references, hushed whispers and spelling.***
If it’s Tuesday this must be Random Tuesday Thoughts. It used to be brought to you by Keely at The Un-Mom but she’s taking a hiatus. Okay, it’s been a really long hiatus but Random Tuesdays still rock on with help from Stacy.
Elle
I totally took today off so I could have a 4 day weekend. Big plans for today, besides a little housework ( and I do mean little), is to bring the foster kittens upstairs to play in the house for a bit, do some grocery shopping, because apparently we are out of toilet paper again! Didn’t I just buy some a week ago? Oh, and spend some time outside enjoying the sunshine. Big goals, but I think I can handle it.
Tomorrow Sissy and I are marching in the 4th of July parade with other staff and volunteers from work. FYI, I won’t be the one with the goat. Just in case you were wondering.
***Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!! By You, I mean you Mom!***
I hate to even write this, but……we have a S-N-A-K-E living under our back steps. I had to spell it out because my mother can’t say that particular word out loud. She can’t say the word S-E-X either. Hence, again with the spelling. But, back to the S-N-A-K-E. I saw it last week just as I was bringing in the dogs. I’m so not a fan of snakes. We had an infestation of Rat S-N-A-K-E-S a few years ago and it was brutal. They were mean and not afraid of us at all. Most S-N-A-K-E-S will just slither away when you approach but not them. No, they would bring their head up and get in position to strike. In hindsight, I’d say they were more like Rat Cobras. Big mean black Rat Cobras. It’s amazing we’re all still alive actually. The first one I encountered wouldn’t slither away and got into it’s Rat Cobra striking position. I yelled and yelled and yelled for my husband to come outside because I was having a staring contest with this big old mean Rat Cobra. He finally poked his head out the door and said,
Him: What do you want?
Me: I’m about to be killed by a giant Rat Cobra!
Him: What do you want me to do about it?
Me: I want you to kill it!
Silence
Him: How the hell am I supposed to do that?
Me: Go grab a shovel and cut off it’s head!
Silence
Silence
Silence
Clearly snake killing wasn’t a part of my husband’s formative years. It was time to change all that.
It seemed like an eternity while I stood there facing off with the Rat Cobra. I stomped my foot at it a few times trying to scare it off, but each time it’s head would get a little higher as if to say “I’m going to get you and your little dog too!” Rat Cobras are mean like that. Finally my husband came out with the shovel. I said to the Rat Cobra, “Last chance. You can slither away or get your head chopped off. Your choice.” He chose poorly. My husband wasn’t happy with that choice either but he saved me from the Rat Cobra. When it turned out there was a nest of the nasty Rat Cobras I suggested we get a mongoose like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, but he wouldn’t go for it. Besides, Mongooses? Mongeese? are hard to come by.
Stacy
You know you’re getting old when you wake up more sore in the morning from sleeping than when you go to the gym!
Finding just the right pillow is one of the hardest things in the world to do! Right now I have 3 pillows on my bed, and all of them give me a stiff neck!
Sometimes eating the brownie batter is better than actually baking it.
Don’t forget to join us for What The Hell Wednesday tomorrow!
